Chick-fil-A Cow

David and I had our regular Tuesday lunch date at Chick-fil-A the other day and upon entering the establishment we saw that the famed cow was there.


He was pushing around a baby stroller with a baby in it when we first walked in.

The tension in the restaurant was palpable.

These adults were tense. On edge.

It soon became apparent why.

He liked to make us adults feel awkward. What do you do with someone like this in costume? Especially when you don't have your kid with you to offset some of the awkwardness. You don't have the luxury of a little human to use as you point and jiggle them around making them acknowledge the huge cow with the jersey on walking around on two legs.

"Look, sweetie. You see the cow? Can you say hi? Give him high five!!"

Yay!!

Nope. We were just two adults on our own and it became increasingly apparent that we were not alone in our "zero kid" state.

David went to grab napkins while I sat at the booth and begged the God above to not let the cow see me.

Too late.

He attempted to sit down at my booth.

He didn't fit.

He then pantomimed trying to get in as the whole restaurant watched to see what I would do.

Ha ha ho ho hee haw.

I awkwardly laughed and pointed as if it was quite possibly the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life all the while thinking, "Where the devil is David and why is a napkin run taking so stinkin' long?! What does he have like five feet to walk?"

The cow finally left me and continued on his rampage of making all other adults feel like morons.

David soon returned and I hissed a, "Where have you been?!" (my voice even though it was half whispered, half hissed also had a note of shrill hysterics to it.)

"I was staying far away."

I shot him a mean look. It was not the time to broach my psychological feelings of abandonment.

Later in lunch this was our exact conversation:

D: Man, work is stressful. I need a break. It is really tough. I just feel so run down. I--

Me: Ha ha!! Look at that cow break dancing! Wow! What a riot!


Silence.


Me: I'm sorry. What were you saying? Oh wait! He is trying to get that guy to roll his window down! Look!


At this point the cow had moved on to terrorizing the people in the drive thru. All adults. Since kids can't drive legally and stuff.


It was like having a deranged gunman in the establishment and you had to keep your eyes on him at all times.


Where is the cow?


Is he behind me?


Is he walking this way?


Did I accidentally make eye contact through his black mesh face covering?


One more question before I leave you with this post of deep thoughts...


Do you talk to these dressed up figures? I mean it is not like they can respond back with words. They are strictly limited to gestures.


Emily, please give me some feed back. Her husband runs a Chick-fil-A. (And yes, I know I still need to respond to your tag. I will. I promise.)


One more thought. I know I already said that but this meaningless post won't end. This encounter later brought back the hysterical memory of my oldest brother dressed as a giant penny (he worked for a sub shop called Goodcents. Get it? Ha ha!) with his skinny legs clad in white tights poking out the bottom, dancing on a main street in our little town. What I wouldn't give for a picture. We would casually drive by him and say something like, "There's Josh." Like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

Now it is a hoot in my mind.


An absolute hoot.