First off, Barbie has changed her shape over the years. A way that I know this is the "new" Barbies' clothes are a little big on my "old" Barbies. Even though Barbie has changed shape, don't go crying for her because she can still rock a swimsuit like none other. The changes are ever so subtle.
Ken has not changed shape. Not even a little. Go figure.
The Hannah Montana doll is thinner than Barbie and actually measures bigger in the bust area. This only sparks a little bit of bitterness in me. Really, I'm fine.
I may not be able to remember where I put the field trip permission slip that is of vital importance but I do recall exactly what my Barbies' names were.
"Hello, Mrs. Heart Family. There was never a better Barbie mother in all the Barbie world. You dressed your entire family to match and the world is a better place because of it."
"Hello, Tracy. I still think that you were the most beautiful, bride Barbie ever. Now they have just cheapened bride Barbies with rings that flash when you push them but you, you with your big, beautiful, solitaire diamond and your veil with purple flowers. You were and always will be a class act in my mind."
Below is an example of the "new" style Barbie.
This Barbie comes complete with crimped hair and tats. Social relevance? You tell me.
I do plan on blaming anything rebellious that my daughters do in life on the above Barbie.
We've landed on the moon but still the Zac Efron doll looks creepy.
This is one of my old Barbie dolls. She proves that the orange spray tan did come before Paris Hilton.
"Thank you for clearing that up, you delightfully orange Barbie."
These two pictures are to show that it really is the death of the Barbie when she gets her head broken off. We go from beautiful and sleek swan neck to "let's jam this thing on and see if it can stay" look.
(Side note: My girls have actually made her the "mean" Barbie since her accident. I hope this doesn't mean they have no compassion. My Ken doll totally stayed with his Barbie wife when her head came off but that was a different time. I keep telling myself that what they really mean is that she is hooked on her prescription meds from the accident and that is why she has become so mean. And steals. And hits. Oh dear.)
Lastly, when you combine your beloved "old" Barbies with your daughters' "new" Barbies and this happens to one of your beloved "old" Barbies, you will probably shed a tear, stroke Vanessa's hair out of her eyes, whisper, "Goodbye, you were a good friend," and forgive your sweet, angel daughters even though they have no idea of your pain or what they have done. And you will move on and laugh again.
This melodramatic post has been brought to you by Mattel...both past and present.
